UNPACKING THE EXPERIENCES OF FORMER GIFTED CHILDREN: A QUALITATIVE STUDY ON IDENTITY, ACHIEVEMENT, AND WELL-BEING

Abstract

In elementary school, I was pulled out of class and taken into a room with a man, a table and chairs, papers, puzzles, and a timer. I had no idea who he was or what he wanted; I just needed to perform the random tasks he asked me to do. I remember doing these weird puzzles, spelling words, and reciting passages from memory. These activities went on for what felt like hours. I met with this man a few more times, but then I never saw him again. I had no idea what these meetings were about until I was pulled out of class and labeled “Gifted.” My mom said she saw my advanced abilities from a very young age. I was bored in class and was assigned extra work. I could talk and tie my shoes early on. I could read at a level higher than average at five years of age. She believed I had a solid potential to be gifted; these assessment results validated her point. I knew I was different; I always felt that way. Having these thoughts in my mind was a constant occurrence. Why was I different? Why did I feel so left out? These thoughts remained with me until I was invited to the Gifted Program at my school. This is when I realized there were people like me, and some of them were my best friends. I was in the Gifted Program for a few years; we aged out once we left middle school. I do not remember much, but I do remember doing many puzzles that challenged me and my thinking. I would feel so bright when I figured out a complex puzzle or equation. I knew I was smart. This mindset carried on with me throughout middle and high school. I was a math whiz. I could solve any equation you put before me, and was encouraged to major in accounting. I graduated high school as a Salutatorian and was set to attend a four-year institution that fall. I thought my academic successes would continue into college, but then my first year began, and an extremely rude awakening came along. I was enrolled in MA 100 – Intermediate Algebra – because my ACT score was not high enough for me to start in College Algebra. On my first test in the class, I got a C. A Biology test came next…another C. The list goes on and on. I was so defeated. I was taught and told that I was a genius, and I did not take this 'failure' lightly. I had never made below an A, and to have made multiple C's in my first semester, I felt like my academic career was over. Over time, I continued to struggle but felt too proud to ask for help. I stopped studying, eating, and socializing. I was burned out. Looking back on who I was ten years ago and who I am today, I now know that I was a victim of self-sabotage. This form of self-sabotage associated with gifted child burnout is a widespread phenomenon that has inspired numerous studies and even TikTok videos. It took me a while to accept the fact that I was just maybe not as exceptional as people had told me I was. I am still dealing with that realization today.